Only 10 Days to Register for Love Yourself In Action!

Loving Yourself in Action 2You want to experience your best self.  Come and learn ways to relax, build self-confidence, improve your communication skills and enjoy life.

In this workshop, you will increase your compassion for yourself and others. You will discover tools to enhance your life. You will begin to learn how to use the Enneagram tool to stay emotionally, physically and spiritually healthy.

This workshop is offered online and in person.

This is an excellent course to take before you attend Level 1 Finding Your Inner Treasure.

Click Here to Register 

What Does Sleeping With Your Pet Have to Do With Your Love Life

Today pets have become members of our families.  You love them.  You make sure your animals are well treated.  They give you pleasure.


Your relationship with your dog or cat is much simpler than with another human being. They love you unconditionally.  You never fear being rejected.

Do you love to sleep with your dog or cat?  Sleeping with your pet can be comforting.  The sound of their breathing relaxes you. The feel of a living creature cuddling up to you feels good.

The challenge is when you get so enmeshed with your pet it becomes difficult for you to welcome the affection of another human being.   The relationship with another person is much more complicated. While it can be more challenging, in the end, it is more rewarding.

The challenge is to find the right balance in the power we give our pets in our lives, especially in the bed.

In a recent survey given by Mattress Advisor, they asked a thousand people about their relationships with their pets in their beds. For example, they found that if you allow your pet to sleep in your bed when you don’t want them to you are more likely going to be hurt in a relationship.

If your pet is given an occasional free pass, you are more likely to have healthier relationships, and if it does end, it will end on a more mutual basis.

If you let your pets sleep in bed with your approval, then you are more likely to end the relationship yourself.

You can not compare a relationship between a pet and another person.  They are just different.

Too often pets become an excuse not to take the risk of connecting with another human being.

To often pets can be used as a tool to hurt your human partner; this is never the pets fault. It is always the people’s fault.

My own story is that my first wife had a beautiful cat. She loved him deeply, and he was part of her life long before she met me.  When I met her, I had some allergies to cats, but it wasn’t too bad. Over the years she insisted that the cat sleeps between our heads on our bed. Over time it got to the point that I struggled to breathe.

It became clear that I was less important than the cat.  When the cat died, I insisted that we don’t get a new cat. My wife at the time would not listen to me.  Before long, our relationship ended.

My wife and I allowed the cat to control our lives making it difficult to bond as a couple.

If you are in a relationship with a person who is allergic to your animal, you will need to consider finding a new home for your pet or ending the relationship.

The humans need always needs to take priority over the animals.  The caveat being that the pet still requires proper care.

It takes self-awareness to become conscious of how you are using the animals in your life. Are you using them to meet your emotional needs?  Do you have a pet to keep you company?  Do you have a pet to avoid needing a human companionship?

If you are having a hard time meeting your significant other; you might want to look at your relationships with your pet. How are you allowing your pet to get in the way of bonding with another human being?

A great tool to help you get in touch with what is going on inside you is the Enneagram. For more information on the Enneagram: Click Here.


The Enneagram points out to you where you get stuck when you are under stress. Each of us is given one of nine different ways to survive in the world.  During your childhood and youth, your type kept you safe. When you become an adult, it will hold you back when you are not aware of how your personality is restricting your choices in life.

The Enneagram will show you how your type impacts how you use animals as a crutch when you are stressed out. For example:

Type One: (Reformer) The pet for a type one will soothe their need to be accepted when they are so tough on themselves.

Type Two: (Helper) The pet for the type two will meet their need to know they are loved and special.

Type Three: (Achiever) The pet for the type three will be a symbol of their success. They won’t have a mutt.

Type Four: (Individualist) The pet for the type four will be a living creature for them to bond with at a deep level. It will be the one living creature who truly understands and respects their individuality.

Type Five: (Investigator)The pet for the type five will allow them to have companionship without the need to talk.

Type Six: (Loyalist) The pet for the type six will be a friend who will comfort them during their fear and anxiety.


Type Seven: (Enthusiast)The pet for the type seven will be a friend they can share all their adventures.

Type Eight: (Challenger) The pet for the type eight will be a friend that will provide a safe space for them to show their vulnerable side.

Type Nine: (Peacemaker) The pet for the type nine will be the essential creature that will help them to know they have a place in the world.

Your pet can enrich your life.  Animals bring us many gifts including unconditional love, companionship, invitations to play, something to care for and an exuberance for life. Animals have a special place in our lives.

The trouble is when you use your animals as a place to hide from building healthy, loving and transformative relationships with another human being.

Building a relationship with another human being is riskier, but then the benefits of a close human relationship cannot compare to one with an animal.

The research from Mattress Advisor gives us helpful information that can help you to build a good relationship. If you want more information on how to find the best mattress for you check out this page: Click Here

The learnings you take from the Enneagram can help you to be more self-aware so that you can have healthy relationships with both people and animals.

Roland Legge can help you to find balance in your life with your furry and human friends.  For more information, please arrange for a free 30-minute discovery call by emailing Roland at  or book your appointment


Article republished with permission of the author.  This was originally published on REL Consultants 


13 Tell-Tale Signs You Are Finding Your Purpose in Life


You, like all of us, want the best life possible. There are hundreds of books out there telling you how to find your purpose in life. Everyone is telling you what works for them. But what works for them, usually won’t work for you.

In the end, you need to figure out what you need for yourself.  The good news is that you have all that it takes to find your purpose right within you.  Your responsibility is to open to the wisdom of the world through your three energy centers. The 13 tell-tale signs you are finding your purpose in life will become self-evident as you open up to your inner wisdom.

With practice, you will learn to open your heart (emotions), your instinctive (belly), and head (thinking) center. Learning about the Enneagram personality tool can help you to become self-observant so that you can become free from the limitations of your personality.  Practises such as yoga, meditation and massage can help you to get in touch with your inner wisdom especially your body and heart.

Get Your Free Enneagram Personality Test: Click Here

Here are your 13 signs you are finding your purpose in life:

 1.      You are Excited to get up each day:

It is easy to get up in the morning. You enjoy each day.

2.      You know deep inside you, you are on the right path:

I don’t mean it is always easy. It just feels right.  Even in the hard times, you have the inner confidence that it will work out.

3.      You feel calm and grounded:

Your body feels relaxed. You feel aware of everything happening in you and around you.  Your mind feels calm. You sleep well at night. There is a sense of ease in your life. Nothing is feeling forced.

4.      You are finding your rhythm in life:

You know there is a time for everything.  Everything seems to be happening in the way it should. Nothing is too slow or too fast. It just feels right. There is enough time for work, family time, time with friends, and time for self. Life is busy but not too busy.

5.      You feel self-confident:

You are feeling comfortable in your work and the person you are.  You know you can do what is needed.  You trust the people in your life.  You have no shame in asking for help when it is needed.  You are comfortable in your shoes.

6.      You feel happy:

Maybe a better way of saying it is that you have joy in your life.  You have contentment.  You feel a sense of inner peace even during the challenging times. You trust that everything will work out in the way it needs to.

7.      Life feels challenging and yet rewarding:


You would never grow if never challenged.  The challenges in your life encourage you to keep working hard and staying open to new ideas. You receive enough positive feedback.  You feel satisfied at the end of each day.

8.      Synchronicity is at work:

You meet the right people at the right time. New opportunities turn up when you are ready to take them on. There is a harmony in your life.  Everything seems to happen at the right time.

9.      Friends, family and strangers affirm the path you are on:

People you trust, let you know they see a positive change in you.  They affirm what you are doing as important work. They tell you, you are just the right person for the job.  Not everyone is going to approve, but it is the people that you trust are the ones to pay most attention to.  Even comments from a stranger can be a powerful sign you are on the right path.


10.  You have all the energy you need to get your work done:

You find new energy within you.  You still get tired after long days, but it is a good tired.  You feel energized to do what you need to do every day.  Your stress level is at a healthy level just enough to keep you motivated.

11.   You no longer worry about how you are going to survive:

You find a new trust in life.  You don’t worry much from day to day.  You have an inner trust and confidence that you will have enough to live each day.

12.  What you are doing no longer feels like work:

Work time seems just as fun and meaningful as play time.  You no longer dread going to work, but rather look forward to it every day. You have a jump in your step.  You love your job as one of your passions in life.

13.  You are amazed that you get to spend your life doing something that feels so right for you:

You get to hang out with an amazing group of people. You feel like you are making a difference in the world.

If you are experiencing many of these signs, then you are on the right path. Each new sign you experience is good news as you continue to strengthen your quality of life.

When you open yourself up to your inner wisdom, you will find the guidance you need to find your purpose in life.

You will probably have more than one passion.  Your passions and interests often change throughout your life. If you stay open to your body, emotions and a quiet mind, you will know when you need to make a change in your life.

Don’t despair if you are still looking for your purpose. With continued inner work by yourself, you will find your purpose. It is not easy work but so worthwhile.

You can do it! Go forth and live your life full of hope, joy, meaning and love. The world will be better for it!

Roland Legge can help you to get to discover your purpose in life.  For more information, please arrange for a free 30-minute discovery call by emailing Roland at  or book your appointment  Click Here


This article is reprinted with permission and was originally published on the Blog of REL Consultants (Roland Legge)

…a Better Way to Do Counseling?

I appreciate this article that challenges us as Christians to practise soul care instead of judgment.

See, there's this thing called biology...

I have some issues with “Christian counseling” or “biblical counseling.” Ha! I need therapy to get over the really bad therapy I sometimes see in the world. I feel even worse about the secular world and counseling.

Rick Thomas is kind of a bright spot however, an exception to my rule. He seems to get the issues and often writes articles that address all my concerns. Recently I read this one,  “Did You Know There Is a Better Way to Do Counseling?” Read it, he has some good insights.

He often speaks of “progressive sanctification.” Another way of saying that is that “we’re all in process.” We are growing. We’re building a relationship with the Lord. We’re walking through life’s challenges. A lot of harm has been done by really black and white thinking, you’re with us or you’re against us, you’re in or you’re out. At any moment you…

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